I feel like I'm falling into a rut. I'm lazy and bored, and it's getting old. I find that I work a lot (even had overtime on this last check!), but I feel like nothing is getting accomplished and I'm a hamster on an exercise wheel. I keep waiting for something to happen, as if I'm living in a fairytale and some adventure is about to whisk me away. But it isn't like that. Real life is hard. Perhaps that's why we need fairytales. In those, one never needs money or a job to supply it. One doesn't have to constantly worry with the washing machine or ever unload the dishes.
But the complexity of life is also something hidden amidst the fear and elation of possibilities. As I write this, there is another tab staring at me from the top of my browser that could be a way to move forward, away, toward, against. And it scares me. This spring one of my good friends is marrying her fiance, and I'll be standing there in the wedding, probably silently freaking out. How can the girl that taught me so much of how to be a rebellious hellion be conforming to the system and actually becoming a wife? It's weird. And yet, it is the way of things.
Perhaps I should remember than indecision is a decision. In the battle of the (waistline) bulge, it is true that there is no real stasis, but a continuum of loss, gain, and maintenance. So it is with life, I guess. Perhaps the time is drawing nigh for me to remember that loss of one thing is the gain of another, and that to maintain the status quo fuels dreary blog posts and coffee binges.
So, how about that tab?
Right after this coffee.
T
But the complexity of life is also something hidden amidst the fear and elation of possibilities. As I write this, there is another tab staring at me from the top of my browser that could be a way to move forward, away, toward, against. And it scares me. This spring one of my good friends is marrying her fiance, and I'll be standing there in the wedding, probably silently freaking out. How can the girl that taught me so much of how to be a rebellious hellion be conforming to the system and actually becoming a wife? It's weird. And yet, it is the way of things.
Perhaps I should remember than indecision is a decision. In the battle of the (waistline) bulge, it is true that there is no real stasis, but a continuum of loss, gain, and maintenance. So it is with life, I guess. Perhaps the time is drawing nigh for me to remember that loss of one thing is the gain of another, and that to maintain the status quo fuels dreary blog posts and coffee binges.
So, how about that tab?
Right after this coffee.
T
No comments:
Post a Comment